What is FBSM? What to expect from an erotic massage session

FBSM - what does it mean? Whether you’re already a client of sex workers or are simply curious about the sex industry, you’ve probably seen the term ‘FBSM’ used online.

FBSM - or ‘full body sensual massage’ is a kind of sex work service that’s popular with clients worldwide. In this article, I’m going to explain the definition of FBSM so that you know what’s involved, where to find FBSM providers and the right etiquette for a good FBSM session.

Before we start, here's a little bit about me: I’ve had experience in erotic massage as well as other kinds of sex work. I started out doing brothel work almost fifteen years ago, followed by a number of years at an erotic massage establishment. After this, I became an independent escort and have been happily pursuing this work for a decade. But I still have very fond memories of my massage work, and the lovely clients I met during that time!

Here’s what we’re going to cover. First, I’ll explain very simply what FBSM is, and what a typical session involves. Then we’ll talk about how to find FBSM workers near you. Lastly, I’ll share some of my etiquette tips for ensuring a great erotic massage experience.

What does FBSM stand for? What does it mean?

FBSM stands for ‘full body sensual massage’. It’s a kind of sex work.

Sex work is any exchange of sexual (or sexy) services for payment..the term includes all kinds of work, from street-based sex workers to porn performers and phone sex operators. But where some hands-on providers - such as escorts or brothel workers - might offer sexual intercourse, FBSM focuses on sensual touch, often with a ‘happy ending’ or hand job at the end of the session.

This means that although FBSM is intended to be an erotic sexual experience, it usually doesn’t involve sexual intercourse. The client will enjoy a sexy massage from a worker and may also receive a hand job at the end of the experience.

There are many benefits to FBSM:

• Orgasms/sexual touch - sexual excitement and release can be very enjoyable for many people.
• Sensual/intimate touch - simply enjoying affectionate touch is also a huge advantage to this kind of service.
• Muscle relaxation - if you pay to see a provider who is trained in remedial massage you may feel the benefits in your muscles, posture, and back.
• Stress relief - many clients report that regular sexual release helps them with their stress and anxiety.
• Companionship - spending time in the company of someone you’re attracted to is also an enjoyable experience for many, especially if you’re lonely or want to feel sexy and appreciated.

Types of FBSM services

Not all FBSM sessions are the same! There are many different ways to enjoy erotic massage…and your provider will have a unique set of skills and services that gives your booking together a unique feel.

Here are a few examples of the kinds of massage a worker may specialize in:

• Nude/lingerie massage with a happy ending - this is your standard ‘rub and tug’ experience, where a provider (in the nude or wearing lingerie) will massage you and then give you a hand job to finish the session.
• Tantric massage - a sensual, full-body massage that aims to awaken and distribute sexual energy to facilitate healing, transformation, and spiritual growth. This kind of service is performed by people who have trained in tantric practices and often involves a particular way of breathing and focusing in order to intensify your experience.
• ‘Erotic bodyslide’ or ‘naked bodyslide’ - this kind of service involves the worker rubbing their naked body against yours. It’s an incredibly sensual and erotic kind of touch.
• Nuru massage - a form of massage that originated in Japan (nuru means ‘slippery’ in Japanese). The worker uses their whole body to massage the client, after applying an ultra-slippery gel made of seaweed.
• Remedial massage - some sex workers who specialize in FBSM are also trained in remedial or sports massage. This kind of service could be a great option if you require sexual release but would also benefit from a thorough massage.

Comparison: FBSM versus full-service sex work

Is FBSM the same as ‘full service’? Let’s compare the two kinds of sex work services.

In sex industry terms, ‘full service’ (or FS for short) refers to a kind of hands-on sex work that usually includes sexual intercourse. What does FS mean sexually? Basically, it means that if your date with a sex worker goes well, you’ll probably end up having sex. Full-service sex workers can be any gender, and so can their clients. So the sex you have might involve PIV (penis-in-vagina), PIA (penis-in-anus), or some other kind of sexual activity that you’ve both agreed on.

Ways that FBSM differs from full service:

• FBSM doesn’t usually involve sexual intercourse. As I’ve said above, it’s more about receiving a sensual massage, with a hand job at the end of the experience. Although other sexual services (such as oral sex) are sometimes included, they’re not standard.
• FBSM focuses on one-way touch. The experience is about you, the client, receiving touch and pleasure. In a typical ‘full service’ sexual encounter, a lot is often happening at once, and you may find yourself both giving and receiving at the same time. In contrast, FBSM allows you to concentrate on receiving pleasure.
• FBSM often takes place on a massage table. This isn’t always true, but many sexy massage professionals will use a massage table rather than a bed. This can make your experience more comfortable.
• FBSM may be priced differently to full-service sex work. Depending on your location, you may find that the cost for a date with an escort, for example, is different from the hourly rate for a massage worker. There may also be a difference in the ways ‘extra services’ are charged.

There are also some similarities:

• Both full-service work and erotic massage are criminalized in some locations. If you’re in a location where hands-on sex work is criminalized, such as the United States, you may find that these laws also apply to FBSM services. Please check your local laws for clarification.
• Both full-service work and FBSM can be provided by independent workers or establishments. It does depend on your location and your local laws, but often you’ll be able to find establishments that offer one or the other of these experiences, such as brothels and erotic massage parlors. You may also be able to find independent workers who offer either full service or FBSM.
• Both full-service work and FBSM can be available as incall or outcall services. Whether you’re wanting to visit your worker (incall) or have someone visit you at your home or hotel (outcall), chances are you’ll be able to find a provider that works in this way. Again, it does depend on where you are in the world and your local laws. Click here to read more about the difference between incalls and outcalls.

Why some clients prefer FBSM

Although full-service workers such as escorts can be a great option, some clients prefer to see erotic and sensual massage workers. Here are a few reasons why:

• The experience is slow and sensual. If you’re the kind of person who enjoys a slow build-up, teasing, or sensual touch, an erotic massage can provide all of these for a much longer timeframe than you might experience during a typical sexual encounter. Rather than rushing to orgasm, you’re encouraged to enjoy the sensations and eroticism of touch.
• One-way touch is relaxing. Sex can be a lot of work! Some clients enjoy the ‘one-way’ aspect of an FBSM session because it means that they can relax without worrying about their sexual stamina.
• It may feel less risky. Sex workers are safer sex experts, and often have standards of sexual health that are well above the general population. Nevertheless, some clients worry about the risks of sexually transmitted infections (STIs), however minor, that are involved with sexual intercourse of any kind. Because a sensual massage has a much lower risk of STI transmission, it could feel more comfortable for these kinds of clients.
• FBSM is sometimes be more affordable. If you’re on a tight budget, you may not be able to afford the cost of a multi-hour date with an escort or another kind of hands-on professional. A sensual massage can be a nice way to receive touch and experience sexual release in a shorter timeframe and sometimes at a more affordable rate.

Myths about FBSM

Before we go any further, it’s important we address a few persistent myths about full-body sensual massage services. If you have the wrong idea about what’s involved, you risk upsetting your provider. So make sure you read these carefully!

Common myths:

• That all regular massage businesses are FBSM premises ‘in disguise’. Thanks to criminalization, in many places in the world it’s not possible to openly advertise FBSM services. This can lead to some confusion. I’ve heard some clients say that ‘all massage parlors offer hand jobs’. But it’s simply not true, and asking non-sex-workers (such as regular massage therapists) for sexual services will probably make them feel very uncomfortable. Make sure the establishment you’re visiting (or the worker you’re engaging) is a genuine FBSM provider before you see them, and always respect a ‘no’.
• That all FBSM providers offer the same services. As with all types of sex work, different workers have different boundaries and provide different services. Not all FBSM workers offer oral sex, for example. Not all providers allow you to touch them while the massage is happening. Don’t assume! Ask first and respect their rules.
• That FBSM workers will provide sex too if you ask them nicely enough…or offer them enough money. This is something I experienced many times when working in an erotic massage parlor; sometimes clients would offer me extra payments for sex, and be offended when I turned them down. Unless you’re spending time with a full-service worker who also provides massage services, it’s very unlikely you’ll be able to negotiate for sex during your session. And since asking (especially if you ask repeatedly) can really ruin the mood, it’s best avoided.

How to find an FBSM worker near you

You may be thinking, “How do I find an FBSM worker near me?” Often, you can find a good provider in the same way as you’d find another independent worker, such as an escort: by searching online.

Here are a few places to look:

• Look for local establishments. If massage parlors are allowed by law, you may find them listed when you search the web or your local maps app.
• Search the web using the words ‘FBSM’ and your town or city (eg, ‘FBSM Sacramento’ or ‘FBSM San Diego’) to see which advertising sites are most popular. Choose sites that are well-designed, reputable, and have a range of workers available.
• Visit an escort advertising site such as Tryst that allows you to search for FBSM workers specifically
• Check the back pages of your local newspaper classifieds. Sometimes massage workers will advertise here, often using discreet phrases such as ‘nude body rub’ or ‘sensual massage’.

Once you have some options, here are some tips for choosing the right worker:

• Decide what kind of FBSM service you want before you search. The type of massage, the town or city, whether you want an incall or an outcall…you’ll need to find a provider who ticks all the right boxes.
• Do your research before you contact a provider. Read their advertisement thoroughly. Look at their website, if they have one. Find them on social media and read what they’ve posted. All of this can help confirm that they’re experienced and professional.

Establishment or independent worker?

Should you visit a massage parlor or an independent worker? It depends on your budget and local laws.

Here at The Satisfaction Project, we often recommend independent sex workers. When you’re looking for someone who will treat you professionally, it’s helpful to be able to do your research first and choose someone you think you’ll get along with.

An independent massage worker will often have an online presence, allowing you to get to know them better before meeting them. And when you get in touch to arrange a session you’ll usually be able to speak with them directly. All of this can lead to a more confident, connected experience.

“Are there workers who offer both massage and sex?”

If you’re a massage lover but also enjoy regular kinds of sex, you might be searching for a sex worker who provides both erotic massage and sexual intercourse. And the good news is, these people do exist!

Some sex workers offer FBSM and escorting services but do so under different packages or rates. Others may offer escort services but also advertise that they have massage skills. Whomever you choose, you can’t turn an FBSM session into a full-service sex romp halfway through, so make sure you’re honest about the kind of experience you want right from the start! If in doubt, it’s best to book and pay for a full-service sexual encounter, then raise the possibility of a massage as an optional extra.

Many escort advertising sites allow you to search for full-service workers who offer erotic massage as a service, and this is usually the best way to ensure you choose a provider who meets your needs.

Essential FBSM etiquette for clients

Once you’ve found a reputable worker, what next? How do you ensure a good experience with an FBSM pro? Here are my top etiquette tips.

Tip #1: Be polite and professional when booking

Talking with an FBSM provider for the first time can be very exciting. Sometimes folks get carried away with flirting or sexy talk. But this isn’t a good move. When you contact a sex worker, you need to be as polite and professional as possible so that they know you’re a good client.

Communicate clearly, the same as you would for any other kind of professional appointment. Tell them the date and time you were hoping to meet, the length of the session, the location (whether it’s an incall or an outcall), and any specific services you’re hoping for, if it’s safe to talk about sex.

To ensure your worker’s safety, you may be asked to share some personal information such as your name and phone number, your identification, or your work address. You may also be asked to arrange a deposit (a percentage of the booking fee paid in advance).

Tip #2: Have good personal hygiene

When you’re getting naked and sexy with someone, being clean and well-presented is essential. Your provider won’t want to touch you if your intimate areas smell or feel bad. So make sure you shower thoroughly before you arrive for the session, paying special attention to hard-to-reach places such as your butt and under your foreskin, if you have one.

Tip #3: Let your worker take charge

When you show up for a sexy massage session, your provider is the expert. It’s their job to guide you through the experience. Make sure you follow all their instructions, whether it’s around showering before and after, how to get ready when you’re on the massage table, or even being told that your time is up. The more you can relax and follow their lead, the smoother the whole experience will flow…and this will mean a more relaxed experience for you.

Are you a bedroom micromanager? You could be missing out.

A good escort date isn’t about ticking every box. If you treat your sessions like shopping trips, you’re probably missing out on the real fun.

The Satisfaction ProjectGeorgie Wolf

Tip #4: Respect your provider’s boundaries

As I said earlier, every FBSM provider has their own boundaries. Some might allow you to touch the, while others don’t. Some might perform certain sexual services, such as blow jobs, while others don’t. Regardless of what you’re hoping for, it’s essential to ask first, respect your worker’s needs, and follow their instructions.

After all, it’s their body…and just as you’re allowed to say no to anything they might want to do with you, they are also allowed to say ‘no’ to anything you might want to do with them. Trying to push their boundaries will make the session feel very awkward, and could even result in you being asked to leave.

Tip #5: Leave when your time is up

A good FBSM session is all about touch, intimacy, and sensuality. Although hand relief is usually included, an orgasm isn’t guaranteed. There are many reasons why clients might not climax at the end of an erotic massage session: they might have erection problems, or be too nervous to come. They might also prefer to finish the job later themselves.

Regardless of whether you’ve had an orgasm or not, your session is over once your paid time is up. Your provider will tell you when it’s time to clean up or take another shower. Remember, they may have other customers scheduled after you, and their time is valuable!

Now you've learned all about full-body sensual massage...

...you know what FBSM workers can offer, the benefits of a good erotic massage session, and how to find a reputable independent provider. This means you’ll be able to experience the joys of a good erotic massage with confidence...and hopefully, if you've followed my etiquette tips, you'll be invited back.