“Is it rude to ask an escort to wear specific clothes?”

Is it rude to ask an escort to wear specific clothes or dress a certain way during a booking?

We all have our fantasies...and they're as individual as we are.

If you're planning a date with a sex worker, you might have a very specific scenario in mind - and the nice thing about spending time with an escort is that you're allowed to make requests.

Whether you're hoping for a specific sexual activity, a particular costume, or a sexy scenario, chances are there's a worker out there who can make it happen for you. For example, you might be fantasising about a striking lingerie set that you've seen in their advertising photos, or hoping for that sexy nurse costume that your ex-girlfriend wasn't too keen on. It's absolutely possible to make this happen!

Of course, that doesn't mean we're down for anything. Different escorts have different preferences, and we don't all offer the same services, So if you want something specific, you'll need to shop around a little.

If you're able, it's helpful to be clear about your outfit request from the very first contact.

Try asking: "I'm really hoping you might be able to wear a specific costume for me, is this something you're able to do?"

But be careful! Enquiring about 'sexy costumes' is a classic sign of a timewaster. For some reasons, almost every time a potential client has asked about costumes, they fail to follow through with a booking.

I'm not sure why - perhaps they're hoping I'll describe the sexy outfit and give them a bit of free porn? Regardless, if you're asking for a specific outfit (and you're sincere about booking a session) you're going to have to do a bit of extra work to ensure your escort doesn't bin your message.

Here are a few ideas on how to have the conversation.

Only ask if it's safe to do so.

In some places where sex work is criminalised, mentioning sex in your enquiry message will cause your worker to run for the hills. So that request for a 'sexy maid costume' might not be appropriate. Instead, you'll need to form a good working relationship with an escort first, before asking them about specific scenarios.

A 'dress up' or 'dress down' request is fine.

Planning a dinner date to a five-star restaurant? It's totally fine to ask for cocktail attire. On the other hand, if you and your escort are settling in for a night on the couch, casual clothing might be more appropriate.

Requesting 'casual', 'cocktail' or 'corporate' is perfectly acceptable - and might help your escort ensure they're dressed appropriately for the activities you've planned together.

Only ask if it really matters to you.

Some clients try to micromanage every aspect of an escort session - they think that because they're paying, they get to dictate every detail of the scenario. But that's not how good sex works - you need to leave room for your date to also express their own preferences. Trying to control everything will ruin the vibe, and your escort will find it exhausting.

Costume and clothing requests should only be made if you have a very specific fantasy in mind, or a strong attachment to a particular item of clothing. Trying to dictate every aspect of your escort's appearance simply because you think you can, is likely to come across as demanding and controlling.

Consider the effort involved.

Not all escorts have an extensive wardrobe . If what you're asking for is complicated, you'll need to offer compensation.

This especially applies to sexy costumes. Most of us don't have a collection of costumes on hand! To avoid looking like a timewaster, consider adding an offer of compensation (paid in advance) to help your escort prepare for the session.

Try saying: "I understand this request might take some effort, and I'm happy to pay a little extra in advance to cover any costs."

If you don't want to pay extra, it's best to only make requests for outfits you've already seen in an escort's advertising photos. That way you know they already have the items on hand.

Give your companion the chance to express themselves.

I know it's fun to be able to choose. But often, what works best is what your escort recommends.

After all, we know what kinds of clothes and lingerie suit us! If you let us make the decision, we'll be able to choose something we look good and feel comfortable in.

The best escort sessions happen when everyone feels comfortable and attractive. Allowing your escort to make the choice ensures they arrive feeling good, and that will get your date off to a great start.