"How do I prepare for a pegging session with a sex worker?"

I would like to try pegging with my current provider but I'm not sure how to prepare prior to the booking. I'd like to be armed with some knowledge of what things are and how they work. I know my provider would be respectful but I don't want to apear completly clueless (which I absolutely am). Any chance you could put together a guide on preparation and cleanliness for anal?

Pegging - being fucked in the ass with a strapon - can be great fun. It's a very popular activity with people of all genders! And many folks have nerve endings around and inside the butt that can make the sensations of penetration extra enjoyable. For many, anal sex is also be a very intimate act, and a huge turn-on.

Anal sex requires some specialised information, some knowledge and level of comfort with our own bodies, and the willingness to go slow and communicate. By getting this stuff straight first, you're much more likely to have a good first experience. Because I'm not an expert in this, I've turned to a pegging expert for advice: Melbourne escort Frankie James.

Frankie James is an Australian escort and self-described ‘good time specialist’ with a warm, genuine personality. She’s Melbourne-based and she absolutely loves pegging.  We recently recorded a  podcast together about the sexual escapades we've been on as sex workers, and pegging was at the top of her favourite list of activities: "I am literally dripping wet...because of how much it turns me on. My body loves to fuck other people's bodies!"

It's something she's skilled at, and she's received many compliments from clients on her technique. Frankie has a lot of advice to share for a first-time pegging enthusiast. Basically, it's three steps: awareness, strategy, and preparation.

Awareness: don't be afraid to ask for advice

"I would say, for a start, that it's amazing that you've asked for advice. That shows a great level of self-awareness and willingness to try something new," she says.

Having a good pegging experience is about being able to relax - so knowing what to expect, feeling safe physically and mentally, is essential. This means being aware of safety and preparation, and also also being realistic about the potential for mess. "If you're going to play in the sand pit, you're gonna get your feet a little bit dirty."

Frankie appreciates clients who admit what they don't know, and are willing to ask. "I think it shows someone has a good understanding of what's required to have great experiences, both in your personal sexual life and also in relationships with providers...being curious and asking questions is always welcome. I would encourage people to do it more often."

Strategy: Start small and work your way up

If you hadn't had much experience with butt play, Frankie recommends starting out small and working your way up. "You can buy butt plugs - either  individual butt plugs, or kits . Many places sell kits, where you start out with one really small size, then a medium, and then a slightly larger one. If that's something you feel comfortable doing on your own, you could start doing some self-play at home."

She points out that the sensations you experience might be very different to the ones you're used to during sex...and it may take time to interpret those sensations as pleasure. "A lot of people, especially when they're starting out, say that it feels like they need to go to the toilet. That's the only experience we have up to that point. If something hurts, you might need to change what you're doing. But sometimes it's just new. So be open to that different feeling and lean into it."

Strategy also means considering the timing of your bookings. We all have our own body schedules; if you know that you're a morning person for your body 'doing its thing', then maybe it's a good idea to see your provider in the evening.

Preparation: douche and wash your butt beforehand

This should go without saying, but high standards of personal hygiene are essential for a good sex work session. This is especially true for butt play, where the right preparation can reduce the risk of an 'accident'.

Frankie says, "Being clean before you arrive is going to give you the best experience.  It means that neither you nor your provider has to worry about any spills or leaks. It creates a sexier and more safe environment to have a pegging experience."

She recommends buying an enema bulb from a sex shop or fetish shop, using some lube, and giving yourself an enema five or six times to clean out your lower colon. "Some people do a more thorough enema, but that's only really necessary if you're doing more extreme anal stuff, like fisting. It's not really necessary for a finger or a toy or a pegging session."

(If you're new to enemas, here's an excellent guide.)

"And then have a good shower before you leave your house," she says, "Obviously, your provider will ask you to take another shower when you arrive at their space because that's what we do."

Frankie points out that, with pegging, there's generally a condom on the dildo anyway, so if there are any issues with mess it's pretty simple to clean up. "It's really easy to just stop, take that condom off, switch it out, and keep going up. A few baby wipes, a hand towel, a  fresh condom, and you're good to go."

But thorough preparation is helpful regardless because it allows you to relax and stop worrying. And when it comes to anal sex (or any sex at all, really) being able to relax fully and concentrate on your enjoyment is essential.

Now that you know the basics, you'll be able to immerse yourself in the experience. I hope you and your provider have fun on this adventure! If you'd like to hear more from Frankie about the thrills of pegging, you can listen to her recent podcast episode.